When life hands you lemons, and lemons….and lemons

I shared an ambiguous post on my facebook last week about having a tumor removed from my eye.  I suppose I should elaborate on that and other aspects of my life since it’s been a solid 2 months since there’s been a blog post. Oy!

So about 6 or so weeks ago I went to the eye doctor to have my vision checked as I noticed it had been getting worse.  While there, he noticed that the abnormal mass on the surface of my eye had grown significantly the past year, doubling in size.  This doctor has a reputation for being quite frank, and he lived up to it when he decisively announced “it looks like a squamous cell carcinoma, which is a type of cancer, but not hard to fix.  I’m sending you to a cornea expert.”  Uh, waaat??  I had spent the past 5 months removing every body part I could to avoid cancer, and now I get skin cancer…on my eyeball?  To be honest, I laughed.  I looked at the doctor and said, “You’ve gotta be f****** kidding me!” and ended up in tears while continuing to laugh so hard I thought I would pee my pants.  While standing at the reception desk waiting to find out when my appointment with the ‘expert’ would be, I sent poor Cody a text that simply said, “I have eyeball cancer. Ha” and a less sarcastic message to my dad.  Both initially thought it was some morbid joke.  To be honest, so did I.

The following week, I went in to see Michigan’s resident eyeball expert.  I was pretty much told, “Hmmm, this could be a carcinoma. Or a melanoma.  Or a good old nevus”.  A nevus is basically a cluster of weird cells, sort of like a birthmark, but mine took the form of a tumor.  Doc decided that with my body’s lack of cancer-prevention software that most people have, this thing needed to be removed.

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Cue the eyeball surgery.  Apparently my last words to the surgeon were, “I have a really cute boyfriend and I need to be able to see him after this. So you better be careful.”  I have no memory of this exchange, but my nurse said it gave the OR staff a good laugh.

I got to rock an eyepatch for a while, scare young children, and generally look like a badass.  The fifteen (FIFTEEN) stitches in my eye were more annoying than painful, and thankfully that was my only complaint in recovery.  I called the doctor every day asking if pathology had come back yet and was met with disappointment every time, until I went in to see him for a follow up this week.

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See those beautiful words? N-E-V-U-S.  Talk about a weight off my shoulders.  I could punch that first doctor straight in the throat for his complete lack of a bedside manner.  Scared the living daylights out of me and my family.  Can’t be too angry though, life is good, I’m healthy, and I don’t need to remove any more body parts anytime soon. I’d call that a good day. 🙂

This year I’ve made lots of lemonade.

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2 thoughts on “When life hands you lemons, and lemons….and lemons

  1. Oh my gosh Kelly I am so so so happy for you! Eep what great news (despite having to have ANOTHER nasty operation)! Betcha you’re relieved huh? So many huge hugs your way but happy to read this chicka! Xxx

  2. Phew……I have been waiting on tenterhooks for this news and didn’t want to pester you as you don’t really know me that well. So happy for you. Thanks for sharing ….makes us all more aware of the other bits trying to get us!
    Please feel free to share your blogs on http://www.brcaumbrella.ning.com
    Best wishes
    Caroline

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