Sorry about the punny title. I just found it both fitting and comical.

These days, I do feel like the HBIC of this thing. The egg retrieval is over, and now my future kiddos are safely tucked away in a freezer somewhere and will stay there until I’m good and ready for them to come out. Let me tell you, there is so much that comes with fertility treatments, so many side effects and physical changes it’s overwhelming. I’ll list some of them in the next paragraph, but be warned…TMI. If you don’t want the gruesome details I suggest you skip to the third paragraph.

Okay, so, during this whole process you go in for transvaginal ultrasounds every day. Every. Damn. Day. That means having a long plastic rod shoved up your vagina and poking at your lady bits at 6:30 am every morning. It’s not so bad in the beginning, when your ovaries aren’t swollen, but as soon as the meds kick in and your ovaries blow up, it hurts. You also get bloodwork every morning which isn’t terrible, but now I have track marks up and down my arms as well as across my stomach. As far as side effects… I know it sounds stupid, but I didn’t really consider the fact that I’d probably experience them. Bloating, hot flashes, mood swings, and sore ovaries. I just thought I was getting chubby! When I graduated to 2 shots a day I was nearing my breaking point. My gut was so swollen every step I took felt like my uterus and ovaries were going to fall out. I couldn’t even sit on hard surfaces! Even now, 2 days after my retrieval, I’m sitting with a heating pad across my aching stomach. Yuck! I couldn’t have done it without my token stabbers, though. I never had to give myself the shot, every time I tried I just flinched. So thanks Sammy, Cody, and Lauren. You rock.

Okay, okay done with that part. So…the retrieval itself. A ‘good yield’ is between 8-15. They got 22. 22. 22 eggs! I cried so much when they told me (I want lots of kids, and half of the ones they got will be mutated, I really didn’t want to have to do this again) When I called my dad he cried too!
2014-07-17 11.16.09

That joy was put on hold when I started bleeding out. Lots of blood, so they had me go up to use the bathroom and I had blood coming down my legs the whole way there. So back into the OR I go! Another round of anesthesia and they fix the bleed. See, what happens when they do a retrieval is they go in through the vagina with a foot long needle, puncture the side of the uterus to get to the ovary, and extract an egg. Well, they had to do that to me 22 times which apparently my uterus didn’t like. But all is well! I got the call yesterday that of the 22 they extracted, 17 successfully froze. And now this portion of my life is over!

I meet with another doctor on the 7th to discuss when we’re doing the salpingectomy. Considering I don’t need the tubes and they’re cancer bombs, may as well take them out. So by the end of this year…I’ll have had 3.5 surgeries (I could the retrieval as .5 even though I went under twice). But, I won’t have to have another until I get my ovaries out many years down the road 🙂 I’ve aptly nicknamed this summer the “summer of surgeries”

I took control of this thing and now it can’t get me. Take that, hereditary breast and ovarian cancer syndrome.

2014-07-16 08.12.02


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